So Maybe if I tell you all here it won’t mean 40 telephone calls. Here is the update to my life:
I have been looking for a new client for months, a big fish. I got an offer 2 weeks ago today. A verbal offer (carries not much weight) Then at the end of last week I got an e-mail attached were ALL the stuff I needed to accept the written offer. Let me say it is a very generous offer with great benefits. I will be 1 of 4 assistants to this family. Yes I said 4!!! I was supposed to start Monday 4/15/13. Since the paperwork has been delayed I get a reprieve. This position is a position that will require me to live away from home and Santa Barbara most of the year.
So in the interim I have been looking for a roommate Beene/Bob sitter. I thought I had found a good one but, that fell through. Then out of the blue my landlord is going through her own life changing events and asking 7 tenants to move out of their homes. Yes I am one of the 7. So, Yesterday the landlords daughter (who rented me the house) came by to give me move out papers with 60 days notice.

The good news is my dad has agreed to take the Beene & Bob. They are a set and no one else wanted them both. I know he loves them and will take great care of them. I feel a tad bit guilty as he has a very full plate now too. I am grateful I know where they are going and he will love them & let Beene sleep with him too. She is a great cuddler.  Bob just is Bob and living his last days he is a faithful old dude that has to have me in eye sight. I can’t imagine my life without them.

The kids this morning

I have been walking through my place thinking as I look around Keep it, Sell it, Junk it. As i do not think it is wise to store stuff that:

A.) I don’t love

B.)  That I can replace for less than the cost of storage

C.) I can live without.

Let me tell you I have a lot of stuff. I don’t know how it is going to all work out. I have been putting mental post it notes on everything between the bouts of tears and excitement. I am intentionally making myself homeless.

I haven’t even mentioned the guy… That is a whole other chapter in it self. I will just tell you what he told me “It’s Okay. We will be ok.” To which I replied “promise”  ”Yes We will be ok, We will talk tomorrow, Beauty” That’s his sweet name for me.

My life is changing. It is scary and exciting, heart breaking and wonderful all at the same time.

I know that the chapter in my life is closing. It’s is complicated. I spent a significant amount of time with the attorney and the accountant last week. In an effort to add “The End”to my old story. There is some relief in that for me as well as some sadness. I know that my perception will change and hind sight is 20/20.  I will invariable get a lesson to learn or repeat.

I will try to post my journey and travels here…. with my heart open, my eyes looking forward even if they are full of tears.

I am sure tomorrow it will look different….

So with the idea and actions to make a larger presence in the world. I have started sharing myself with different site, links and other contests. I have to type in all the stuff, Facebook, E-mail, esty, pinterest, tumblr, Flicker, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I occasionally mess them up. Yes I know me Miss Details. It is very different in my own life as opposed to a clients life.

So what I have elected to do and since this is a monarchy. Me, being Queen Ruler and Supreme Head of State!!! (Okay just spent 30 minutes looking for photo of me in my crown. Didn’t find it. Note to self STRAIGHTEN up those photos!!!)

So instead here is a photo of my royal subjects.

Well, back to the reason for the post.

Where and how to find me then, follow me and link to my every thought… YIKES!!! (please don’t 5150 me)

So my e-mail  kim@apaperaddict.com

Twitter @apaperaddict.com

facebook    https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Paper-Addict/263819223628377?ref=hl    I think this is the right link HA HA!!

Tumblr  http://apaperaddict.tumblr.com/

Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/apaperaddict

Pinterest http://pinterest.com/apaperaddict/

So If you want me, need me, would like to follow or stalk me there ya go!

Thanks for supporting following and putting up with my  quirky ways.

OX OX OX

kim

P.S. I almost forget www.apaperaddict.com DUH!!

So today as I perused fb I became aware from my creative community that there are a ton of “healing” classes.

First, Let me say that I don’t think there is anything wrong with this. Then I got this craziest thought.

Ready?

What if we as creatives aren’t in need of healing? What if our sensitivity is the way humans are designed? What if we don’t need to be healed or better or repaired?

What if “WE” are the healthy ones?

Imagine if our kindness, goodness, generosity and love is the way it’s supposed to be? Maybe just maybe it is the rest of the world. Maybe the move to fast, expect to much, give to little folks? What if they needed the healing? The gentle kindness of their soul, to speak to them, nurture them? How would they respond to the grace that comes from unselfish giving? Not the receiving of something unselfishly but, the actual freedom of helping someone, giving of themselves, never to be found out, never acknowledged. Just that inside thing that makes me smile. What if they put their fingers in paint in a class room of kindergarteners, ran in the wet grass bare foot, puddle stomped in the rain with there friends?

Maybe I am crazy, maybe I need fixing. It is possible that these creatives I share my life with ( you know who you are ) Maybe loving what we do, Hearing our souls sing when we are in “the zone”. Helping, loving, supporting and encouraging each other. Maybe we need healing but, I would like to believe that our over-sensitive, kind, loving nature is exactly how humans are designed.

Now the next question, the BIG one. How do we heal the rest of them???

Dear Inner Critic,

As I pursue my passion, Art. I have found at this time that your services are no longer needed.

While I would like to commend you for your dedication, perseverance and tenacity.  I hope that I can learn from the skills you have exhibited during your long tenure in my mind.  However I find that your input is become more of a liability than an asset.

I choose to let you go so that I can move forward without you constant badgering, belittling and nasty comments. I have replaced you with a community of Artists, Teachers and Sisters. Whose loving, kind and supportive input are more in line with the goals and dreams I have set for 2013.

I have been dedicated to you, the Inner Critic for longer than I care to be.  Thank you again for holding me back, stifling my creative nature and harming my progress.

I will bid you a kind Au revoir! Bonne Soir!!

No Love,

Kim

P.S. Good luck in your new job search. Please do not count on me for a refernece.

Well let’s just say after yesterdays FUNK there was nowhere to go but up. I spent a little time last night with some people I love & respect. Kind of a spiritual tune up so to speak. A friend of mine said the wisest thing I may have ever heard him say “You are going through it now, So that you will be ready for all the good that’s coming” That was the parting thought of the night. I called and shared it with NG. As he is “in it” far worse than I now.. I am powerless, Which I hate. UGH!!!

So today when I woke up I snuggled & goofed with the Beene for a bit

Once I was sufficently snuggled up I got out of bed & put on the Barney robe… It helped.

I spent the day moving, unpacking and more organizing. The studio became clean & dirty & clean & dirty. I made some progress. Played with some power tools! I love power tools! Especailly since my ex used to forbid me from using them HA HA HA! I even hung up my IKEA kitchen jar set.

I must say THE METAL ROD HOLDING THE JARS IS PERFECTLY LEVEL!!!! I am so proud. You have to understand I have a very hard time hanging things level… I spray paint the cork board with a stencil and extra paint I have.

 I think its perfect.

I had a 36 x 36 piece of plexi glass that used to be on the wall at my old old place but It doesnt really fit anyplace here. So i brought it in and removed all my rubber stamps from it. I am sad that it doesn’t work here I thought is was a fantastic idea. I peeled all the stamps off & re-organized them with a little supervisor.

She thinks she is in charge around here and the boss of just about everything.. Curious or nosey I don’t know which. Good thing she is so dang cute.So I ended the day with a mess. I have more to bring in from the garage tomorrow. But here is the progress so far.

I have a long way to go but, I am making good progress. I am so excited to finally be getting it alll together & organized. I keep looking in my favorite magazines & finding ideas that just work for me.

So there is my update, Grateful for the purple bathrobe & my change in perception.

It seems like it left much quicker than it came. I woke today feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Nothing new or different from these past days.

Lovely??? Ha!Ha! Ha!

Maybe it was all the shitty “Come buy our crap on sale commericals” from last night? Maybe it was Beene being a big mouth before my 2nd cup of coffee? The arguement with some ignorant ass on FB this morning about Indians, Slavery & War? The stack of bills? The NG on the road now where near me or home with the flu? The trashman headed my way, and the cans still in the yard?  The CPU making noises, the fact that kicking it doesn’t make it shut up??? The warm black fuzzy bathrobe?

Novemeber Fly Tribe ATC Swap

The fact that I can’t for the life of me figure out who gets what in the ATC swap & end up with extras? TWICE….

I don’t know what is ……… Fighting a case of the Fuck it’s!!!

Get dressed. Brush the chompers. Wash my face. Talked to the NG. He’s still sick but closer to Nashville. I still don’t feel better. Maybe my ponytail is to tight! Resort the ATC’s from the swap. UGH! Still have 3 to many. The fun of being hostess is losing it glamour.

Open up CPU. Get canned air from under the kitchen sink. Don’t know where it came from but glad I have it. Spray inside CPU. Dust bunnies evicted. Of course with help of small onery dog standing on ponytail. Sprayed small dog. She doesn’t like canned air!!!! Noise stopped. Good.

Black warm bathrobe is going to Goodwill or somewhere. Decided it’s black. Maybe it’s fuzzier and warmer than the purple Barney robe but, It has bad JUU JUU!! The purple robe is from Super G. It is about 100 years old (okay maybe 15). She has given me 2 since the Barney robe. I gave them away. The purple robe has a hole in it too. Red dog chewed the hole. I never fixed it.

He is gone, like the robes that Granny tried to give me to replace the purple Barney robe. Maybe it’s the love and memories? Like a morning hug. The decision is made. No more black bathrobe!!!

All my egg’s in one basket? Fear? To much on my plate?  I don’t know the cause.

I know that sometimes it is just about spiritual balance for me. I don’t have it today. I have my shitty glasses on I think. They make everything look crappy. The down side is I have the solution too. I have been here before & worse. Do I get the windex out and change my perception or stay here and bitch about the view?

Gratitude List Day 2! UGH

1. The Tools

2. Family & Friends, especially NG

3. A place to vent (that’s all 3 of you readers)

4. Spiritual principles I can CHOOSE to live by.

5. Knowing that making these lists will help.

That’s all. I know it should be 10 things but, spank me it’s not.

So I like to be all cheery and say all is good in the world today .

I think I will make a list of everything I need to do. Then another of everything I want to do. Go to storage & bring another load of studio stuff to intergrate.

Be grateful even though I just don’t want to. If I don’t go back to bed I have half a chance.

Beene put dirty dog feet on the clean sheets anyway! UGH!!!! So no going back…

FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD……. Via con Dios.

So today is Thanksgiving. A day of gratitude. So with that said here is my Gratitude list for the day.

1. My Life

2. The B’s

3. The Super G

4. Family

5. Friends

6. My art & the little space I am creating to make it.

7. My Dreams

8. Hope

Well I am sure that there is more, I can’t think of it all right now.

Beene says “Where’s my turkey?”

Happy Thanksgiving!!

So, It’s Wednesday before the big bird day. Not the yellow one (Sesame Street song playing in my head. Can ya tell me how to get how to get to Sesame Street) Then comes Black Friday, UGH!!! I have seen a few things about the perverse attitude of Thursday we celebrate the Gratitude and Thankfulness. Then rush out to go buy more of what “they” say we want and must have to be happy. Ugly.

Not the wanting. The fact that we let a bunch of people, educated people worm their way into our lives our minds, the minds of our loved ones. Convincing us with slick photos, little catchy jingles, sexy men and women, that we MUST HAVE this or that. According to them, this or that will actually make us happy. Bah humbug I say!!!

So with that said, My opinion out there……. Here is what has been brewing in my mind and my new little studio.

Yesterday I brought a Smart car full. Yes I drive a smarty. I can load a lot in it. I’ve told “You’ve got skills!” So I packed Smarty (Yes that is her name Smart-tee-pants to be exact) up from storage brought it back & began the unpacking…… I also had 6 bins in the garage. All of them are now integrated in my little space. Some things need hung up (a project for today) never the less, I ran across some little boxes I made at A Work of Heart . They are recycled cigarette boxes.

In all my stuff I found a bunch of empty boxes in waiting, some tins too. You know the kind mints & candy come in???

Well the creative brewing started here: http://www.thenewblack-friday.com/

It was posted on my facebook. The idea struck home for me. I love shopping. Don’t get me wrong. Let’s just say I have spent the last year condensing my personal belongings from 2 houses and a studio into 1 home and a storage. Moving, sorting and organizing has been expensive to say the least. Oh the time, emotions and cost. Well these experiences have shifted my perception. I don’t want more stuff. I don’t ant to buy you more stuff! I would rather you knew just what i think and feel for you. Those people that I love & adore in my life. (I think the ones I don’t already know .)

So brewing, brewing, brewing. I read Sherry’s post about the New Black Friday. Then it occurred to me. I’ve been doing this.

I have a NG in my life. He is amazing. We both work on the road, traveling. Him more than me. I fly a lot to spend time with him.

Admittedly a photo of a photo. Not the best shot .

So now that you understand, I hope I can connect the dots.

First we have a joke. He always says he needs to buy stock in Hallmark. The greeting card company. I see them and buy them. Slip them in his suitcase, under his pillow and various places so he finds them later.  Well when working with an organizer I know she gave me this little book. About 1 1/2 x 2. I took it on a the flight to Phoenix with me when I went to meet him and move more stuff. On the plane I wrote in each page all the things he does, the things that bring a smile to my face, the things I adore about him, us. Then I gave it to him. Brave for me but, that is a subject for another day, another blog.

Drum roll please?

HE LOVED IT!!! He carries it with him. Everywhere!!!

The Books!!!!

So what better? I made another journal that holds photos.

Pictures of places we have been. Silly stuff. My art. Just stuff. I tried to leave space to write in it as well.

“Loved” Kim Hyer 2011

El Capatian, Oct  2012

Us on the Arizona, On the road somewhere

“Home”  Kim Hyer 2011

This book is nowhere near completed. He has it. I keep adding to it. You know the funny thing is about things, He put it in his luggage on a leg of one of the trips. Also in his suitcase was something that opened, leaked soaked suitcase, all contents wet, except the book. I don’t know why it was the only dry none smelly thing. Everything else needed washed.

So let me close and say this: I don’t know if Sherry’s idea is especially new for me. I do know that the reminder has sparked some thoughts and ideas, brewing in my mind and my studio.

How do I show you, remind mind you, make you aware of the impact? The consciousness of the effect you have had on my life? When I tell you do you hear me? Really listen? So, I am off to try and sort through the brewing put my conscious thoughts about my feelings for you into action. I will post the results for you to all see.

Let me leave you with this, If tomorrow the people you loved woke up with out you would they know how much they meant?